Friday 1 April 2011


A Downing Street spokesman was today forced to admit to the existence of a secret department within the British government. Rumours about Department 19 have been in circulation for many years, but previous governments have consistently denied its existence. Publication of a “tell all” book today by HarperCollins, which exposes the inner workings of the highly classified department, led to the government’s admission. The book, believed to have been written by a former employee of the organisation, under the pseudonym Will Hill, is called simply Department 19.

According to the author, Department 19’s brief is to investigate supernatural occurrences. Staffed in part by former Special Forces operatives, they are equipped with hi tech weaponry including ultraviolet light pistols, pneumatic guns and advanced explosives. The government spokesman would not confirm the particulars of the work that these special operatives are currently engaged in, but there are suggestions that an unexplained explosion off the north east coast last week can be traced back to Department 19

Asked whether the Department 19 operatives were trained to track and capture or destroy supernatural beings, including vampires, the spokesman said “I could not possibly comment”.

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