Guest Post: Beaky Malone Blog Tour

Barry Hutchison has to be one of my favourite middle grade authors - I've loved everything that I have read of his, starting of course with the fabulous Invisible Fiends series. His new book, Beaky Malone World's Greatest Liar, was published a couple of days ago and is no exception to this - it is laugh out loud funny from beginning to end. I am really chuffed that Barry wanted to stop off at The Book Zone on his Beaky Malone blog tour, to tell us how he got into writing funny stories:

FUNNY STUFF, GOOD. PUNCHING ME IN THE HEAD, BAD 

I wasn’t a funny kid. I was the quiet one in class, reasonably studious without being brilliant, and usually found quietly reading a comic in the corner when all my work was done for the day. There was nothing notable about me whatsoever, other than my height. I was abnormally tall for my age, and by the time I’d hit 8 years old, I towered several inches above the rest of my class.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the kids in the years above, and soon I was the target for bullies three or four years older than I was. One kid in particular – I can’t remember his name, so let’s call him Bashy McBashface – spent weeks tormenting me, before finally catching me alone one day as I walked home from school.

I can remember his sneering spotty face, his bunched fists, his home-cut crop of ginger hair and his very obvious intent to pummel my head and torso into the pavement. He had another kid with him – his cousin, if I remember rightly, who had two silvery snot-trails as a permanent fixture on his top lip – who alternated between egging Bashy on, and keeping an eye out for trouble.

I was terrified. Too terrified to even raise my fists. Bashy McBashface was HUGE, and had a reputation for being the best fighter in school. I, on the other hand, was a tall, skinny kid who had a reputation for reading The Beano, and for once coming first in the school sports skipping race. It was less Rumble in the Jungle and more Certain Death in That Bit Behind the Shops.

Bashy’s fist drew back. My mouth opened. Words tumbled out all on their own.

Bashy stopped. He cocked his head to the side like a dog. He frowned.

Then, to my amazement, he threw back his head and laughed.

My mouth started moving again, and this time I listened to the words. They were jokes. No, not jokes, observational comedy about our school, the teachers, the other pupils. I even started to crack wise about the current situation, telling Bashy to pass on to my parents that I’d gone to a better place, and leaving instructions as to who to will my ZX Spectrum and Star Wars figures to.

I had no idea where it was coming from, but I was glad it was coming from somewhere. I made Bashy laugh so much that he completely forgot about pounding my face into a two-dimensional oval (much to his cousin’s disappointment). It turned out I had a latent superpower: I could make people laugh.

The next few years passed in a blur of jokes, impressions, pratfalls and other routines. I became “the funny guy” because, as it turns out, the funny guy is far less likely to get his head kicked in than all those other, non-funny guys.

It was only right, then, that when I’d embark on a professional writing career two decades later, the obvious choice of genre would be… um… horror. My Invisible Fiends series (which was first reviewed right here on this very blog) was a violent and occasionally downright disturbing scare-fest designed to have kids and adults alike too scared to turn the light off at bedtime.

It wasn’t until I started reading the reviews, though (and we all read the reviews, even if we pretend we don’t) that I discovered it was funny, too. Most of the reviews commented on the humour, even though I hadn’t really been aware I’d put any in there.

From there, it made sense to try writing funny books, and I’ve never looked back. I now get to spend my days making myself laugh (always an attractive quality) as I write everything from books to TV animation – and even The Beano.

I’d love to say the reason I write funny stuff is because I want to keep the national smiling, but if I was forced through a Beaky Malone-style Truth Telling Machine, I’d have to own up to the fact that the real reason I write comedy is because I’m worried that, if I don’t, everyone’s going to catch me on my own behind the shops one day, and give me a long-overdue kicking.

So, er, read Beaky Malone: World’s Greatest Liar! It’s hilarious, has brilliant illustrations by the amazing Katie Abey and might – just might – stop you punching me in the head.

Huge thanks to Barry for writing that for us. Beaky Malone, World's Greatest Liar was released in the UK on 2nd June.

Red Eye Blog Tour: My Magnificent Seven Scariest Books by Alex Bell (author of Frozen Charlotte)

And so the nightmares continue....

Yes, the Red Eye blog tour is back at The Book Zone, this time with author Alex Bell telling us about her Magnificent Seven Scariest Books. Alex is the author of Frozen Charlotte, one of the two books released this month by Red Eye, Stripes Publishing's new YA horror imprint. I've just finished Frozen Charlotte and it is very creepy and pretty terrifying on a psychological level. And if you have a phobia about porcelain dolls (which are creepy as hell at the best of times) the you certainly won't want to be reading this one at night time.


And so, over to Alex and her seven scariest books:


1. The Haunting of Toby Jugg by Dennis Wheatley - The first half of this book contains some of the best understated, unnerving horror I've ever read. You definitely feel the terror and helplessness of the main character in this one.

2. The Shining by Stephen King - I read this classic horror tale whilst staying in a very old hotel in New Orleans. As haunted hotel stories go, this has got to be one of the best. It’s a shame the topiary animals were replaced by a hedge maze in the film.

3. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James  - One of my favourite classic ghost stories – this creepy tale has an unreliable narrator and an ambiguous open ending as well as some pretty terrifying encounters in the house and the grounds.

4. This House is Haunted by John Boyne – John Boyne can write anything and excel at it. His ghost story is very much in the Dickensian tradition and contains some of the most bone-chilling scenes I’ve ever come across. A total masterpiece.

5. Florence and Giles by John Harding – I love this re-imagining of The Turn of the Screw. The language is a real treat and like nothing else you’ve ever come across before.

6. Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane – Not a horror book as such but Shutter Island definitely creeped me out with its themes of paranoia, madness and self-destruction.

7. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson – Another classic ghost tale, this one definitely delivers its fair share of scares.

~~~

Huge thanks to Alex for taking the time to write this for us. The Red Eye Blog Tour is about to come to an end, so please head on over to http://reading-in-between-the-lines.blogspot.co.uk for its final stop.

Red Eye Blog Tour: My Life That Books Built by Lou Morgan (author of Sleepless)

Today sees the publication of Sleepless by Lou Morgan and Frozen Charlotte by Alex Bell, the first two titles from Red Eye, Stripes Publishing's brand new YA horror imprint. Over the next fortnight Lou and Alex will be stopping by at a plethora of blogs to tell us more about themselves and their books.

Although these days I seem to be reading more Middle Grade than YA, for some time I have been bemoaning the lack of good YA horror and thus I was excited when I first read that Stripes were launching Red Eye. I have not yet read Frozen Charlotte, but I really enjoyed Sleepless. It is an incredibly creepy story which also contains some particularly gruesome deaths for its characters. It therefore hits the spot for both kinds of horror lovers - those who love psychological creeps and chills, and those who love a healthy(?) dose of blood splatter. I am therefore honoured to be hosting Lou on the first day of the Red Eye:

My Life That Books Built

I can't remember a time when I didn't have too many books. Growing up, I had too many to fit in my bedroom. At college, I lugged boxes and boxes of them up to my tiny third-floor room in my hall of residence - and I have one friend in particular who swore he was never, ever helping me move again after he spent a Saturday carrying crates of them from a van up to my new flat. (It's not like there wasn't a lift - was it, Matthew?)

I read books on the school bus every day, and I read them in the yard at break time. I always overpack them when I go on holiday, and I've been known to put a spare book in my bag when I catch the train in to London for the day from Bath. Just in case I run out of book before I get home. Because that might happen.

Books, you could say, are old friends - and a few of them have made more of an impact over the years than others.

One of the first books I ever really loved - the one I wanted to talk to everyone about (and which, devastatingly, none of my friends had read) was Alfred Hitchcock's Witch's Brew. It was only a little thing - a collection of short stories by people whose names meant nothing to me at the time, but looking at the contents page in that same copy, there's Shirley Jackson, and there's TH White and Joan Aiken… and Robert Bloch's "That Hell-Bound Train."  That was the one that did it: the story of Martin, a man down on his luck and riding the railroads of America, who is stopped one night by a decidedly sinister train conductor and given a watch that can supposedly pause time. The catch is that if he never uses the watch, when the time comes, he will have to ride the train.

Over the years, the book got packed away and I forgot the name of the story - and even who wrote it - but I never forgot the story. After my mother died a couple of years ago, I was sorting through her things and found a box of books. My books. And there was the little blue Puffin paperback… and there was "That Hell-Bound Train".

I must have been about 11 when I read The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper for the first time, and I fell completely in love with the world. I don't think I ever managed to read the whole of the series, but that book in particular has never gone away… and I think about it every time it snows.

In my early teens, I found a book in the SF & fantasy section of the library in town. It had a black cover with what looked like a drop of water in the middle, and if I'm honest, I probably took it home because I thought the cover was cool (and, naturally, that I would look cool reading it on the bus. I said I've always loved books - I never said I wasn't shallow…). That was Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith - and that was the book that made me want to be a writer. I finished it and thought, "I want to do what that book just did to me." I could try to describe the plot, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up waving my hands around and saying, "… and it's all just, like, awesome."

We take something from every book we love, I think: every book changes us just a little. These three, though, they made a big difference. The Hitchcock-horror book - and "That Hell-Bound Train" in particular - showed me that sometimes, the shortest stories cast the longest shadows. The Dark is Rising dropped me into a world I was desperate to visit: I would have given anything to be able to step into that book. I still would - and I still am. And Only Forward was the book that flipped a switch somewhere in my head: the book that had a voice I couldn't ignore. Every book I've ever read has built me, but these three are the foundations.

~~~

Huge thanks to Lou for stopping by to tell us about the books that meant a lot to her when she was younger. Tomorrow the Red Eye blog tour continues at http://www.flutteringbutterflies.com, and please come back here on Sunday 18th January when Alex Bell will be here telling us about her Magnificent Seven Scariest Books.

Review: Secret Santa - Agent of X.M.A.S. by Guy Bass

One night a year, Santa J. Claus delivers presents to the children of the world...but for the rest of the time, he's protecting the world as the top secret agent of the Xtremely Mysterious Agency of Secrets (X.M.A.S.), dishing out his own brand of justice to the world's most dastardly criminals. Santa and his Little Helper, newly qualified X.M.A.S. agent Jingle Bells, are on the trail of Dr Cumulus Nimbus, who's hell-bent on creating a new ice age...and Santa hates snow! Can they stop the evil plot before the world is snowed under?

Santa is for life, not just for Christmas with this fab new book from author Guy Bass and illustrator David Lopez. Continuing my focus on picture books I turned to this little beauty, kindly donated to my cause by the generous Lauren Ace at Stripes Publishing. Many people assume that picture books are for younger readers but illustrations in books are just as important in books for many children in the 8-10 age group, especially if they are struggling or reluctant readers. Images relating to the story help these readers engage more readily with the plot, and also help break up that big blocks of text that can scare off some children. Secret Santa: Agent of X.M.A.S. is the perfect book for all children in this age range, struggling reader or more confident they will love the crazy and hilarious adventures of this new superhero and his eleven sidekick.

I am sure many children over the years have asked the incredibly important question: What does Santa do for the other 364 days of the year? And I am sure most of them have been fobbed off with standard answers such as "sleeping" or "making toys" or such like. Now, however, the truth has finally been revealed - the man in red is actually the top agent for the Xtremely Mysterious Agency of Secrets (X.M.A.S.) and spends those 364 days saving the planet from the dastardly actions of the world's most dangerous criminals. A team of highly-trained Elf Agents work tirelessly to monitor all kinds of criminal activity and add the most deadly perpetrators to The Naughty List. No reindeer pulled sleigh for this Santa though, he needs something far more practical - in this case it is a Mark 499 Sleigh, a high speed vehicle that can travel on land, water and, of course, through air.... but that's not all: by activating its quantum core good old SC can also travel "at the speed of time" (well how else could he deliver so many presents to so many children all over the world on that one day a year when he takes a break from crime-fighting?).

This book (which I hope will be the first of many) sees Santa being given a new Little Helper, an elf aptly named Jingle Bells who has supposedly come "top of the tree" at X.M.A.S. Academy. I say supposedly as Jingle Bells has a secret he wants to hide from everyone, but in doing so he finds himself thrown head first into a life threatening mission on his first day on the job, and quickly discovers that working for X.M.A.S. is not all about making presents to be delivered at that festive time of the year. As a reluctant sidekick to the heroic secret agent Santa Jingle Bells provides many of the hilarious moments that will have kids and parents laughing out loud together. We are also treated to a maniacal master villain who wants to dominate the world through extreme climate change - starting with a new Ice Age for the USA.

Guy Bass obviously has an off the wall sense of humour, and uses this to give new meaning to the many well known and loved legends and stories that surround Santa Claus. He is aided and abetted by the fantastic illustrations of David Lopez, used to both add humour and detail to the story (although I so wish they were in colour). There are some pretty complicated words at times in this story, but I don't think this should put off readers of 7 or 8 - with a little help they should cope fine, although they would enjoy it even more if read to them by a parent as a bedtime book.